"Kangelastest"

Märtsikuu Uncut toob ära 2006. aasta Briti muusikaauhindade elutööpreemia võitja Paul Welleri arvamused sama auhinna varasematest laureaatidest. Tegemist on vapustavalt vaimuka tekstiga, mis pealegi vähemalt 90% ulatuses kattub minu arvamusega. Anname koos Pauliga siis sellele rokijumalate seltskonnale tuld. Inglise keeles, sest sellist asja nüüd küll tõlkida ei anna.

1. Bob Geldof (2005)
"What'd he win it for? Can't be for his music, man. I mean, if it's for his charity work in Africa then you can't knock it, but the Boomtown Rats? **** off."

2. Tom Jones (2003)
"Tom's cool, man. I'd sooner see Tom win it than Bob ****ing Geldof. Or Sir Bob, I should say."

3. Sting (2002), The Police (1986)
"****ing horrible, man. Not my cup of tea at all. ****ing rubbish. No edge, no attitude, no nothing. Wankers."

4. U2 (2001)
"No. Never liked them. That whole thing of Bono becoming the Pope, what the ****'s that all about? Pseudo-American rubbish."

5. Fleetwood Mac (1998)
"I've got 'Albatross' on my jukebox, but that was a different ****ing band. I ain't having ****ing Tusk and all that bollocks - that's what punk was against."

6. The Bee Gees (1997)
"Good songwriters. But grown men on helium, it's not good."

7. David Bowie (1996)
"No. Wrong! I like about three records of his. Low, Hunky Dory, Can't Help Thinking About Me. The rest of it's pish."

8. Van Morrison (1994)
"Well, y'know, Van's a top boy, isn't he?"

9. Rod Stewart (1993)
"Never been a fan, mate. I like some of The Faces stuff. I prefer Ronnie Lane's songs... they're always more soulful."

10.Freddie Mercury (1992), Queen (1990)
"Nah [laughs]. Wrong! He said he wanted to bring ballet to the working classes. What a c***."

11.Status Quo (1991)
"I've got a lot of time for the Quo. Straight-haired, no bollocks..."

12.Eric Clapton (1987)
"Not for me, mate. Bluesbreakers was good, but i prefer B.B.King, y'know... Buddy Guy. I prefer the source. He's too bland for me..."

So is that it? That's the list? Reads like the ****ing kiss of death. See, i'm having second thoughts already."

Nende sõnadega läks Paul Weller järgi mõtlema, kas ta üldse tahab seda auhinda vastu võtta ja sellisesse nimekirja kuuluda? Elu on vastuolusid täis.